Now I'm trying to switch my thinking, convincing myself that it's more likely that I'll get my period than see a positive pregnancy test. I have seen so many negative tests, it's hard for me to even imagine getting a positive one. As much as my body is feeling different right now, it could very well be because I'm adjusting to being off my birth control. I just wish I felt some special connection, some sort of sure feeling. There are so many women I read about that have premonitions and gut feelings that they are pregnant. But I don't have anything. All my life I have had pride in being able to have those strong gut feelings to go off of when big changes in my life happen. I can't help but feel sad that I don't have that. Maybe I don't have that feeling because I'm not pregnant. Or maybe I am but I just don't have that connection with my baby. Either way, it makes me sad.
My husband is trying to convince me that I should see it as a 50/50 chance that I could be pregnant or not. Most statistics say that it's more like a 25% chance of pregnancy since it's so hard to catch that egg at the right time. But my husband still says that I should hang on to hope. He says that I shouldn't focus on them being "symptoms" but just know that it's a possibility. If we're not pregnant yet, we can always try again next month.
I'm trying to see things 50/50 but it's not easy. I want so badly to be the exception and be pregnant on our first try. But again I'm stuck just waiting it out. I'll be able to test by this Friday if I haven't started yet.
Is the Pickle half full or half empty?
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