Day 144...Back to work blues

Yesterday was the first day back after the holiday break. It was really hard leaving home and even more so, leaving my husband for the day. I had had such an amazing time with my husband over the break, being away from him for the majority of the day made me miss him terribly. Luckily work went rather well. There isn't much to say about it except that it was a decent first day back.

The trouble I actually had was letting go of work after I got off. All week long I had no problem completely forgetting about work and just enjoying the moments with my husband. But once I went back, work followed me home. It's weird how, even though I wasn't stressed about work, it still sat on my shoulders. It came to the point where I could hardly sleep well without dwelling on it. I immediately returned to my old clock-watching routine and stressing ("Crap! It's 4am...only 3 more hours to sleep!...Crap! It's 5am...only 2 more hours to sleep!..." and so on).

I'm not sure exactly how I'm suppose to let it all go at the end of my day but I'll work on it. At least when I'm home with Pickle I'll be able to enjoy home life and my new baby 24/7. We also tried again last night. We agreed to try every night from now until my pre-week. In addition to that, we also walked to the Borders book store and bought the "What to expect when you're expecting" book. We figured, since we bumped up our trying to conceive time, we should get a head start on what to expect once we do get that positive test. From just thumbing through it, I can already tell it's going to be extremely helpful.

Unfortunately, I also had a big boo-hoo last night over the stress of finances. I had a moment of "OMG! How are we going to afford a baby?!" But luckily my husband helped settle me down. We both agreed that sometime this week, we will go over the budget thoroughly and plan accordingly. This will include a deep look at my medical coverage, researching the cost of delivery, the cost of regular doctor's check ups, and the cost of post check ups for me and the baby. We already have a nice chunk of savings started, but I will feel so much better once we have a solid plan with all the figures accounted for. I want to be absolutely sure we are ready for Pickle in all areas of our life.

Carrying the weight of 1000 pickles on my shoulders.