Day 116...Weeping Buddha

A long, long time ago there were two warriors who confronted each other in numerous battles. Both of them wore masks and never saw each other's face. After many such encounters, one finally prevailed and the younger warrior was killed. Upon removing his opponents mask the older warrior discovered he had killed his own long lost son. He placed his head in his lap and filled with sorrow, the brave old warrior started to cry.

It is said that "the weeping Buddha" is a wood carved statue of the older warrior.

On the other hand, it is also said that the weeping Buddha was created for young wood carvers. So they could begin their apprenticeship by learning to carve the weeping buddha, and master the curves of the human body before learning the more delicate features of the face.

Others refer to the meditative posture of the weeping Buddha which, in many cultures, is believed to open and activate the third eye. It is supposed to be a very centering and peaceful posture, if you are a flexible person.

But the most beautiful story of them all: the Buddha is weeping for the troubles of the world, absorbing the common grief. The weeping Buddha cries so no one else has to.

My husband and I got one of these carvings this weekend. Today, when feeling emotionally strained, my husband placed the weeping Buddha in my hand. He looked so sad that my troubles seemed so small, and obsolete. For the majority of the day I struggled with feeling everything and nothing all at once. With so many thoughts and emotions running through my head I found myself playing the role of the observer more than anything else; hardly feeling any of the emotions I knew were there. I wasn't happy or sad; just there.

I'm so excited to have Pickle, and yet in some respect, I feel silly for being so excited this early. I know it is a big deal and that it is perfectly fine for me to be excited, but at the same time I am stuck just doing research. I'm so anxious to feel and experience all that there is in pregnancy but I am stuck playing the waiting game. So in turn, I feel both happy and sad all at once.

Perhaps my Weeping Buddha can ease my mind about my feelings.

Namaste. Pickle.