Today went a lot better. I felt a lot more positive. Remember the stress management book I told you about yesterday? Well I found the perfect chapter for myself today. The chapter was all about worry and anxiety. It has a lot of great insight and tips that have already been helpful. I know it'll take practice to really master it, but it's promising. I especially like the section about refuting irrational ideas, especially since I often dwell on all the 'what-ifs.' (What if we can't conceive!?!)
Anyway, aside from the more positive day, my lead told me today how she is planning on leaving the early education classes in about two years to work with the elementary kids at our school. She then assured me not to worry because she was still going to be there all next year. A twinge of guilt hit me. My lead will be there next year...but I won't! If all goes according to plan, I'll be home next year with my new born baby. She, of course, has no idea at this point since we aren't telling anyone until we are actually pregnant. I hope she won't be too disappointed, knowing that she has lost assistants before to pregnancy. But I'm sure she'll cope, as will I if I return the year after. It's just kinda sad to think this will be the only time we'll probably be working together as a team.
I'm still glad we chose not to tell everyone our baby-making plans though. My husband and I were just talking about how we know some family members might try to talk us out of it, or bombard us with advice. Considering everything, it would just make things easier to keep it to ourselves until we see that little plus sign. For now, it's our fun secret!
What if everything goes according to plan and we have Pickle just like we've planned?....
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