For some reason, I have had many dreams these past few months about breastfeeding. Last night's dream, I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. I came home from the hospital with my parents (my husband had to go right back to work), and my mom was teaching me how to breastfeed. In the dream I was really nervous but ready to give it a try. I had no idea how to hold the baby or even present the nipple to her. But once she latched on, it felt so weird! It was an odd mix of uncomfortable, awkward, a little painful, and yet...comforting. Here I was providing food for my baby, I was helping her to eat and stay healthy. And though it felt so unusual, it felt so natural too. It was a tender moment watching my daughter nurse away as her little hand rest against my chest and as her sleepy eyes started to droop as she dozed off.
On the comical side of the dream; there was a moment before breastfeeding where I began to seriously wonder if I was going to be able to even provide milk for my baby. So in all my worry, I pulled my shirt up to see if I even had any milk coming out from my breasts. And as soon as I lifted my shirt, milk came shooting out of my breasts like a fire hose! The odd thing was, the milk was thick almost like pudding!
All of the dreams I have had about breastfeeding, I think, are pointing towards my anxiety about breastfeeding. I DO often wonder and worry if I'll be able to provide milk for my baby. I wonder how it will feel. The idea of it kinda weirds me out, but I really want to breastfeed since it has so many benefits. But will I be able to get past the odd feeling? Will motherly instincts save the day and make it less odd? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Milking my worries about feeding Pickle....
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