For some reason, I have had many dreams these past few months about breastfeeding. Last night's dream, I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. I came home from the hospital with my parents (my husband had to go right back to work), and my mom was teaching me how to breastfeed. In the dream I was really nervous but ready to give it a try. I had no idea how to hold the baby or even present the nipple to her. But once she latched on, it felt so weird! It was an odd mix of uncomfortable, awkward, a little painful, and yet...comforting. Here I was providing food for my baby, I was helping her to eat and stay healthy. And though it felt so unusual, it felt so natural too. It was a tender moment watching my daughter nurse away as her little hand rest against my chest and as her sleepy eyes started to droop as she dozed off.
On the comical side of the dream; there was a moment before breastfeeding where I began to seriously wonder if I was going to be able to even provide milk for my baby. So in all my worry, I pulled my shirt up to see if I even had any milk coming out from my breasts. And as soon as I lifted my shirt, milk came shooting out of my breasts like a fire hose! The odd thing was, the milk was thick almost like pudding!
All of the dreams I have had about breastfeeding, I think, are pointing towards my anxiety about breastfeeding. I DO often wonder and worry if I'll be able to provide milk for my baby. I wonder how it will feel. The idea of it kinda weirds me out, but I really want to breastfeed since it has so many benefits. But will I be able to get past the odd feeling? Will motherly instincts save the day and make it less odd? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Milking my worries about feeding Pickle....
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Day 45...a chance of baby showers
Today I have the baby shower on my mind. I've been thinking of all the fun games, who I would invite, where we would have it, everything! I'm just so excited about being pregnant and celebrating it! It will be so amazing! ^_^ I can't wait to celebrate the creation of Pickle with all my family and friends. Here are some games I found that I would love to have at the baby shower:
Guess the Chocolate - (Materials- 5-10 diapers with 5-10 different types of chocolates). This game is one of the funniest and most popular baby shower games. Have the baby shower host or appointed person moderately melt 5-10 different candy bars separately, placing each one in a diaper to be viewed by everyone. Mark each diaper as A, B, C, D, etc. Have everyone guess which candy is in each of the diapers. Make sure to use some candies that have nuts, toffee, caramel, etc. You are sure to get great laughs!
Do You Know What It Is - (Materials: 10-15 baby items, 10-15 small paper bags, writing utensil, paper for each baby shower guest). Sort the baby items (q-tips, nail clippers, pacifier, etc.) into the paper bags (one item per bag) and number the bags 1-10 or 15. Give each guest a pad and pen and have them number 1-10 or 15 depending on how many bags you prepared and then hand out the bags randomly to the guests. Each guest or team at the baby shower will try to figure out what is in each bag based on what they can feel and/or hear (the bags can not be opened). The bags are passed around until everyone has had a chance to touch and write down their answers. The mother-to-be then opens each bag and shows it to the guests. The guest who gets the most correct gets a prize, if there's a tie they have to answer a question about the mother-to-be. For an added bonus, make a really hard item (shoulder pads, baby nail clippers) a bonus at the end; for the one who guessed it correctly gets a bonus prize (if there's a tie, have them answer a question about the mother-to-be).
Blindfold Diapering - (Materials- blindfold, baby life size doll(s), diapers). One of the funniest baby shower games is for everyone to break into teams (up to five persons per team). Each team has a doll, blindfold and diapers. The object is for each participant to place the blindfold on, take the current diaper off the doll and place the new one on while blindfolded. After the first person finishes diapering, they run to the next team-mate who places the blindfold on and has to do the same. The first team to finish diapering wins!
Whose Water Breaks First - (Materials - Medium size plastic babies, Clear disposable cups that will fit the plastic babies). This game is a great and fun game given to us by visitor Alejandra. Prior to the day of the baby shower, fill each of the cups with water enough to cover the plastic baby toys at least halfway (since they may float). Place the cups in the freezer until frozen stiff (you need to prep the night before). The day of the baby shower party, give a cup to all the women who attend the shower as they arrive. Whoever can melt the water the quickest or their water breaks gets the prize. The baby shower attendees can try to melt by blowing hot air on it or putting it in the sun (everything goes, let them get creative). It's a game that everyone can play at the baby shower no matter what age or physical limitation they may have.
Baby Shower Memory Game - (Materials: clothesline, clothespins as well as items like baby bottle, pacifier, bib, receiving blanket, shoes, socks, hat, gloves, baby pin, teddy bear, rattle, onesie, sleeper, picture frame to hang up on the clothesline). Hang up a clothesline with all the different baby items. Have two people hold up the line for 1 minute and then take the line down (hide it) and have everyone write down every item they can remember (from memory). Give everyone 3 minutes to write down as many items as they can remember. Bring out the line again and see how many everyone got from their memory. An easy and fun baby shower game!
Pregnant for a Day Co-Ed Game - (Materials: Bag of medium balloons, a roll of yarn cut into approx. 20 inch pieces, and a chair for each male participant). Don't tell the object of the game up-front. Make a statement to the women in attendance-- "How many of us women wished that men could be pregnant just for one day?" This statement will leave the men full of suspicion as to what was about to unfold. Hand each man a balloon. For each man that doesn't have on shoes with shoe laces, tie the piece of yarn around each of his slip on shoes to mimic a shoestring. Do not form the bow. Only make a knot to help keep the yarn around the shoe. For those who do have on string up shoes, instruct them to untie their shoes.
Instruct each man to blow up his balloon and tell each man when to stop filling it with air. The balloons should be filled with enough air that it could fit under each participant's shirt, yet be a bit uncomfortable for them to sit down and tie their shoes without popping the balloon. Keep in mind that men who already have a "pot-belly" might need to blow up a smaller balloon. Give the object of the game and the rules. Start the game and whoever ties their shoes without popping the balloon, or lifting their feet from the floor wins. You'll see husbands, cousins, boyfriends come up with such creative ideas as how to attack this difficult task. Naturally, you get a roll of laughter from the baby shower guests as they watch this hysterical event and the men will get to see what it's like to be pregnant for a day!
"Loving advice" -For those who don't know the gender of the baby, get a scrap book page from a scrapbooking/crafts shop with neutral colors (e.g. yellows, purples, teal) and with baby pictures such as animals, rattles etc.. Stick it up on the wall and get 2 pads of heart-shaped post-it notes (or cut out your own paper hearts in pink and blue). Everyone who attends the baby shower must write 1 tip/advice for the parent's to be and use a pink or blue paper, depending on what they think she will be having! She can read them out at the end of the party and can add it to her baby scrapbook for special memories.
Baby Diaper Raffle - (Materials: Pen, Invite, special gift for baby shower guest) - Make it known on everyone's invitation, that if they bring a pack of diapers (for a newborn) to the baby shower that they will be entered into a drawing for a gift. This is a great way for helping make sure the new parents will have enough diapers to start with!
Baby Scrapbook - (Materials: Scrap book, ribbons, stickers, colorful pens etc) - A real neat baby shower activity is to make a baby scrapbook for the parent's to be. Give everyone a page to create borders, pictures, and little sayings so you can place them all in the book for the mother to be to use when taking pictures of the birth and on. It is a great way to have everyone participate in the memories. It is even fun to take a picture at the party of every baby shower participant and place it on the back of the page so you know who did the page for you and who attended the baby shower.
Tinkle In The Pot - (Materials: two quarters for each baby shower participant, masking tape, pickle jars or glass bowls, balloons optional) - Every pregnant woman is always running to the bathroom. This game lets us laugh about it. Group participants in teams of 4 or 5. Be sure to have two quarters for each person and jars/dishes as there are teams. Place a tape strip at a starting line on the floor. Have teams line up behind the starting line. Place jars across the room from each team. Baby shower contestants must place the quarter between their knees and waddle to the jar. They must drop the quarter in the jar (tinkle in the pot). NO HANDS ALLOWED!! If the person misses or drops the quarter along the way they must start over. Each teammate had to go twice. The first team to make all of their potty runs will win prizes. Because there are so many winners we had small inexpensive gifts. This had the ladies rolling with laughter. We also had some hilarious photos afterward.
Guess the Due date -(Materials: a large calendar and some blue and pink pens)-When guests arrive, have the due date month available for guests to write their name and a time on the date they think the baby will be born. This will be a fun calendar to add to a scrapbook later to see who was the closest to the actual due date. Have the guest write their guess in either a blue or pink pen to indicate the gender they expect the baby to be.
Baby Shower Pinata - Adult Theme - (Materials: Pinata, Candy, baby shower supplies, condoms, tongue depressors, paint, pens) - A fun game is to do the old fashion hit the pinata. Start by buying a cool pinata that you would like for your shower. Fill it with the essential candy; It is better to use candy that wont melt. Also, place those little plastic bottles, babies, and confetti that are shaped like baby stuff in the pinata. Besides the candy, fill the baby shower pinata with condoms, and use tongue depressors that are painted to look like pregnancy tests. Paint all of them with a negative test but one to look like it is positive for being pregnant. The person who finds the one that says pregnancy positive wins a baby shower gift.
My husband and I already know we want to have a co-ed baby shower. Since we'll both be the parents and creator of Pickle, why not celebrate together. Although, we also want to add the old fashion twist to it by having the guys celebrate by having cigars and drinks in the other room. But then we'd come together for some games and opening presents. I especially think it would be fun to play some of the games as either coupled teams, or as guys against girls. It would be so much fun! I can't wait to be pregnant with Pickle and celebrate his/her life!
The forecast calls for showers with a chance of Pickle.
Guess the Chocolate - (Materials- 5-10 diapers with 5-10 different types of chocolates). This game is one of the funniest and most popular baby shower games. Have the baby shower host or appointed person moderately melt 5-10 different candy bars separately, placing each one in a diaper to be viewed by everyone. Mark each diaper as A, B, C, D, etc. Have everyone guess which candy is in each of the diapers. Make sure to use some candies that have nuts, toffee, caramel, etc. You are sure to get great laughs!
Do You Know What It Is - (Materials: 10-15 baby items, 10-15 small paper bags, writing utensil, paper for each baby shower guest). Sort the baby items (q-tips, nail clippers, pacifier, etc.) into the paper bags (one item per bag) and number the bags 1-10 or 15. Give each guest a pad and pen and have them number 1-10 or 15 depending on how many bags you prepared and then hand out the bags randomly to the guests. Each guest or team at the baby shower will try to figure out what is in each bag based on what they can feel and/or hear (the bags can not be opened). The bags are passed around until everyone has had a chance to touch and write down their answers. The mother-to-be then opens each bag and shows it to the guests. The guest who gets the most correct gets a prize, if there's a tie they have to answer a question about the mother-to-be. For an added bonus, make a really hard item (shoulder pads, baby nail clippers) a bonus at the end; for the one who guessed it correctly gets a bonus prize (if there's a tie, have them answer a question about the mother-to-be).
Blindfold Diapering - (Materials- blindfold, baby life size doll(s), diapers). One of the funniest baby shower games is for everyone to break into teams (up to five persons per team). Each team has a doll, blindfold and diapers. The object is for each participant to place the blindfold on, take the current diaper off the doll and place the new one on while blindfolded. After the first person finishes diapering, they run to the next team-mate who places the blindfold on and has to do the same. The first team to finish diapering wins!
Whose Water Breaks First - (Materials - Medium size plastic babies, Clear disposable cups that will fit the plastic babies). This game is a great and fun game given to us by visitor Alejandra. Prior to the day of the baby shower, fill each of the cups with water enough to cover the plastic baby toys at least halfway (since they may float). Place the cups in the freezer until frozen stiff (you need to prep the night before). The day of the baby shower party, give a cup to all the women who attend the shower as they arrive. Whoever can melt the water the quickest or their water breaks gets the prize. The baby shower attendees can try to melt by blowing hot air on it or putting it in the sun (everything goes, let them get creative). It's a game that everyone can play at the baby shower no matter what age or physical limitation they may have.
Baby Shower Memory Game - (Materials: clothesline, clothespins as well as items like baby bottle, pacifier, bib, receiving blanket, shoes, socks, hat, gloves, baby pin, teddy bear, rattle, onesie, sleeper, picture frame to hang up on the clothesline). Hang up a clothesline with all the different baby items. Have two people hold up the line for 1 minute and then take the line down (hide it) and have everyone write down every item they can remember (from memory). Give everyone 3 minutes to write down as many items as they can remember. Bring out the line again and see how many everyone got from their memory. An easy and fun baby shower game!
Pregnant for a Day Co-Ed Game - (Materials: Bag of medium balloons, a roll of yarn cut into approx. 20 inch pieces, and a chair for each male participant). Don't tell the object of the game up-front. Make a statement to the women in attendance-- "How many of us women wished that men could be pregnant just for one day?" This statement will leave the men full of suspicion as to what was about to unfold. Hand each man a balloon. For each man that doesn't have on shoes with shoe laces, tie the piece of yarn around each of his slip on shoes to mimic a shoestring. Do not form the bow. Only make a knot to help keep the yarn around the shoe. For those who do have on string up shoes, instruct them to untie their shoes.
Instruct each man to blow up his balloon and tell each man when to stop filling it with air. The balloons should be filled with enough air that it could fit under each participant's shirt, yet be a bit uncomfortable for them to sit down and tie their shoes without popping the balloon. Keep in mind that men who already have a "pot-belly" might need to blow up a smaller balloon. Give the object of the game and the rules. Start the game and whoever ties their shoes without popping the balloon, or lifting their feet from the floor wins. You'll see husbands, cousins, boyfriends come up with such creative ideas as how to attack this difficult task. Naturally, you get a roll of laughter from the baby shower guests as they watch this hysterical event and the men will get to see what it's like to be pregnant for a day!
"Loving advice" -For those who don't know the gender of the baby, get a scrap book page from a scrapbooking/crafts shop with neutral colors (e.g. yellows, purples, teal) and with baby pictures such as animals, rattles etc.. Stick it up on the wall and get 2 pads of heart-shaped post-it notes (or cut out your own paper hearts in pink and blue). Everyone who attends the baby shower must write 1 tip/advice for the parent's to be and use a pink or blue paper, depending on what they think she will be having! She can read them out at the end of the party and can add it to her baby scrapbook for special memories.
Baby Diaper Raffle - (Materials: Pen, Invite, special gift for baby shower guest) - Make it known on everyone's invitation, that if they bring a pack of diapers (for a newborn) to the baby shower that they will be entered into a drawing for a gift. This is a great way for helping make sure the new parents will have enough diapers to start with!
Baby Scrapbook - (Materials: Scrap book, ribbons, stickers, colorful pens etc) - A real neat baby shower activity is to make a baby scrapbook for the parent's to be. Give everyone a page to create borders, pictures, and little sayings so you can place them all in the book for the mother to be to use when taking pictures of the birth and on. It is a great way to have everyone participate in the memories. It is even fun to take a picture at the party of every baby shower participant and place it on the back of the page so you know who did the page for you and who attended the baby shower.
Tinkle In The Pot - (Materials: two quarters for each baby shower participant, masking tape, pickle jars or glass bowls, balloons optional) - Every pregnant woman is always running to the bathroom. This game lets us laugh about it. Group participants in teams of 4 or 5. Be sure to have two quarters for each person and jars/dishes as there are teams. Place a tape strip at a starting line on the floor. Have teams line up behind the starting line. Place jars across the room from each team. Baby shower contestants must place the quarter between their knees and waddle to the jar. They must drop the quarter in the jar (tinkle in the pot). NO HANDS ALLOWED!! If the person misses or drops the quarter along the way they must start over. Each teammate had to go twice. The first team to make all of their potty runs will win prizes. Because there are so many winners we had small inexpensive gifts. This had the ladies rolling with laughter. We also had some hilarious photos afterward.
Guess the Due date -(Materials: a large calendar and some blue and pink pens)-When guests arrive, have the due date month available for guests to write their name and a time on the date they think the baby will be born. This will be a fun calendar to add to a scrapbook later to see who was the closest to the actual due date. Have the guest write their guess in either a blue or pink pen to indicate the gender they expect the baby to be.
Baby Shower Pinata - Adult Theme - (Materials: Pinata, Candy, baby shower supplies, condoms, tongue depressors, paint, pens) - A fun game is to do the old fashion hit the pinata. Start by buying a cool pinata that you would like for your shower. Fill it with the essential candy; It is better to use candy that wont melt. Also, place those little plastic bottles, babies, and confetti that are shaped like baby stuff in the pinata. Besides the candy, fill the baby shower pinata with condoms, and use tongue depressors that are painted to look like pregnancy tests. Paint all of them with a negative test but one to look like it is positive for being pregnant. The person who finds the one that says pregnancy positive wins a baby shower gift.
My husband and I already know we want to have a co-ed baby shower. Since we'll both be the parents and creator of Pickle, why not celebrate together. Although, we also want to add the old fashion twist to it by having the guys celebrate by having cigars and drinks in the other room. But then we'd come together for some games and opening presents. I especially think it would be fun to play some of the games as either coupled teams, or as guys against girls. It would be so much fun! I can't wait to be pregnant with Pickle and celebrate his/her life!
The forecast calls for showers with a chance of Pickle.
Day 44...warmth for winter
Yesterday was a busy day. We spent nearly 5 hours helping my parents chop wood in preparation for the winter. The benefit to helping them process wood is that they offered the trade of labor for free wood. So after helping them out, we'll get to stock up our wood for the whole winter! I'm so excited that we'll have wood for the winter! Last winter we tried to get by with just using the heater and those useless presto logs, but that hardly did the trick. Not only was our place still cold, but our electric bill was painful! But not this winter! We'll be able to stay comfy cozy all season with nice warm fires.
But since we spent the whole day chopping wood, my husband and I had no energy left, so I didn't even bother trying to blog. Knowing that we're going to be warm through the winter...it was all well worth it.
Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful, and since Pickle has no place to go, let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
But since we spent the whole day chopping wood, my husband and I had no energy left, so I didn't even bother trying to blog. Knowing that we're going to be warm through the winter...it was all well worth it.
Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful, and since Pickle has no place to go, let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Day 43...loss for words
I don't really have much to say about today except: YAY IT'S FRIDAY! I am sooooo ready for the weekend! It will be nice to get a couple days off from being "Ms. Teacher" and just be plain ol' me.
Nothing special really happened today at work. Just the usual stuff. But after work, my husband took me out to a movie which was really fun. It's always nice when we go on spontaneous dates. ^_^ I realize that once we have a baby, spontaneous dates will become a thing of the past, so I'm going to enjoy them while I can.
Anyway...that's basically it. No great words of wisdom or learning today. Just one AWESOME start to a much needed weekend. ;)
awe·some
adj.
1. Inspiring awe: an awesome diamond.
2. Pickle: an awesome baby.
3. Expressing awe: I stood in awesome silence at her ability to act so smug.
4. Slang Remarkable; outstanding: "a totally awesome inside joke".
awesome·ly adv.
awesome·ness n.
Nothing special really happened today at work. Just the usual stuff. But after work, my husband took me out to a movie which was really fun. It's always nice when we go on spontaneous dates. ^_^ I realize that once we have a baby, spontaneous dates will become a thing of the past, so I'm going to enjoy them while I can.
Anyway...that's basically it. No great words of wisdom or learning today. Just one AWESOME start to a much needed weekend. ;)
awe·some
adj.
1. Inspiring awe: an awesome diamond.
2. Pickle: an awesome baby.
3. Expressing awe: I stood in awesome silence at her ability to act so smug.
4. Slang Remarkable; outstanding: "a totally awesome inside joke".
awesome·ly adv.
awesome·ness n.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Day 42...compliments with a side of applesauce
"Look! Teacher is happy!" one of my students exclaimed as he smiled and pointed at me. I was happy today! It was hard not to be! Things at work couldn't have gone better! We had no major attitude issues, the class was calm (well...as calm as a room full of 2-3 year old kids can be), we got to take the kids on a nature walk that they seemed to fully enjoy, and I was given a fantastic compliment by my lead teacher! She said that she is really thankful for having me there and that she has been so impressed with my work! She said I have picked things up really well and that I have great instincts for working with children! I HAVE GREAT INSTINCTS!!! =D OMG I actually have good instincts with children!?! As soon as she said that, my heart skipped a beat! This whole time I have been worrying about whether or not I have good instincts with children and here, the lead teacher, a mom and a Montessori teacher for years told me I have good instincts for working with children! It made my day! Heck! It made my week! I might actually do alright with being a mom myself!
On a different note, one funny thing about today was, the snack for the children was applesauce. Well, we didn't have any bowls or spoons so we had to serve the applesauce in little Dixie cups for them to sip at. Consequently, all throughout the day, I kept finding kids walking around with applesauce on their noses! They kept unknowingly dipping their little noses in the sauce as they tried to drink it from the cups! It was the funniest and cutest thing! I kept giggling and saying "oops! You have sauce on your nose!" Although, it wasn't as cute when I later had to clean up the splotches of applesauce all on the sides of the table, on the floor, and all around the serving bowl. Applesauce...everywhere!
So there you go! It turns out I'm good with children. I'm doing well with my job. And applesauce is a fun but horribly messy snack!
I've got applesauce on the nose and Pickle on the brain.
On a different note, one funny thing about today was, the snack for the children was applesauce. Well, we didn't have any bowls or spoons so we had to serve the applesauce in little Dixie cups for them to sip at. Consequently, all throughout the day, I kept finding kids walking around with applesauce on their noses! They kept unknowingly dipping their little noses in the sauce as they tried to drink it from the cups! It was the funniest and cutest thing! I kept giggling and saying "oops! You have sauce on your nose!" Although, it wasn't as cute when I later had to clean up the splotches of applesauce all on the sides of the table, on the floor, and all around the serving bowl. Applesauce...everywhere!
So there you go! It turns out I'm good with children. I'm doing well with my job. And applesauce is a fun but horribly messy snack!
I've got applesauce on the nose and Pickle on the brain.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Day 41...mu-mu-mu-make me haaaaappy
Today was a good day. I just felt a lot more positive. Of course, much of my happiness stemmed from the pep talk that my husband gave me last night. I was feeling blue from piling way too much onto my plate and attempting yet again to eat more than I could chew...well...more like forcibly choking myself to eat everything on my plate when it's not humanly possible. Okay, metaphors aside; I have a bad habit of trying to hold myself to unrealistically high standards while attempting to finish everything on my never ending to-do list in just a day's time. Anyway, my husband reminded me of the importance of being present in the moment and not worrying so much of all the other things coming. After I list out my things that need to be done, leave it at that and tackle it when time permits rather than attempting to bend time as well as my spine when bending over backwards.
So today I tried to be calm and see the day as just today. Not as the day after all the other struggling days, and not as the day before the next busy day to come. It was just today. And suddenly everything seemed so much calmer. My heavy list of to-dos was lifted from my mind so I was able to focus on the moment. When applying this viewpoint while I was at work, I was able to feel a lot more in control of my emotions. It also helped that the kids seemed a lot better today too. But perhaps they could sense the change in my mood and what I witnessed was the reflection of my good mood. Either way, it worked for me!
On another good note, my husband and I worked out today! I increased my activity and lowered my intake. I also was able to go to the grocery store and get some healthier snacks to get me through the day. Here's to getting back on track with preparing my body for Pickle!
Positive thoughts for a positive Pickle: "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present."
So today I tried to be calm and see the day as just today. Not as the day after all the other struggling days, and not as the day before the next busy day to come. It was just today. And suddenly everything seemed so much calmer. My heavy list of to-dos was lifted from my mind so I was able to focus on the moment. When applying this viewpoint while I was at work, I was able to feel a lot more in control of my emotions. It also helped that the kids seemed a lot better today too. But perhaps they could sense the change in my mood and what I witnessed was the reflection of my good mood. Either way, it worked for me!
On another good note, my husband and I worked out today! I increased my activity and lowered my intake. I also was able to go to the grocery store and get some healthier snacks to get me through the day. Here's to getting back on track with preparing my body for Pickle!
Positive thoughts for a positive Pickle: "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present."
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Day 40...off track
Well, today was a roller coaster ride. Between a chaotic morning and a successful afternoon, I'm done with today! I keep finding myself caught between the worry of not doing things right at work, and feeling totally awesome. I feel, for the most part, like I'm doing well. But when there are those unavoidable times, where kids will just choose not to listen no matter what I do...well, there isn't much I can do in those moments except try to keep a level head.
But aside from work, I have unfortunately gotten waaaaaaay off track with trying to lose pounds for Pickle. With moving, work, stress, life...I've found one too many excuses not to hold to a healthy diet! I haven't really put on extra weight (although, if I wanted to I'm sure I could convince myself my pants aren't fitting right) but I haven't lost any weight either. Why can't it be like college all over again, where I could eat anything and keep dropping size?!?! I loved that! But now, if I even so much as LOOK at a piece of cake, by pants get tight! I want to start eating right and exercising again, but it's so hard to after such a long day at work. It's so mentally and physically exhausting at work, I find myself with little drive to do anything else once I get home. It also doesn't help I am having digestion issues that make the whole process difficult. I keep feeling so bloated and uncomfortable! But I guess exercising and eating better will help that. It's just a matter of getting things started.
I only have 4 months left to drop that extra 10-15lbs! I better get crack'n!
Nothing says "crunch time" like a Pickle!
But aside from work, I have unfortunately gotten waaaaaaay off track with trying to lose pounds for Pickle. With moving, work, stress, life...I've found one too many excuses not to hold to a healthy diet! I haven't really put on extra weight (although, if I wanted to I'm sure I could convince myself my pants aren't fitting right) but I haven't lost any weight either. Why can't it be like college all over again, where I could eat anything and keep dropping size?!?! I loved that! But now, if I even so much as LOOK at a piece of cake, by pants get tight! I want to start eating right and exercising again, but it's so hard to after such a long day at work. It's so mentally and physically exhausting at work, I find myself with little drive to do anything else once I get home. It also doesn't help I am having digestion issues that make the whole process difficult. I keep feeling so bloated and uncomfortable! But I guess exercising and eating better will help that. It's just a matter of getting things started.
I only have 4 months left to drop that extra 10-15lbs! I better get crack'n!
Nothing says "crunch time" like a Pickle!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Day 39...feeling blue
For some reason this morning, I woke up feeling rather blue. I had some unpleasant dreams, I realized I spend most my time at work than with my husband (which bugs me, sometimes, to no end), and I've been missing my family. I spent the whole weekend watching my husband's family visit, seeing their homes, hearing about their memories, and it just made me miss my family all the more. It's been hard realizing that they are farther away now. I know they are still an hours drive off, but still...it's just not the same. Other than being up at college, I've never lived this far from home. And this summer I was so spoiled with being able to see my family whenever I wanted since I wasn't working at the time.
Anyway, I had a hard time letting my husband go too. Each day I spend my time working with all these kids, thinking of our Pickle and how it will be to have a baby together and it makes me want to be all the closer to my husband. Plus, sometimes it hardly seems like I get to see him. By the time I get home, we get so caught up in all the other things we need and want to do, I'm going to bed before we really get to do anything more. And then the next day begins, away from him, off at work...it just makes me feel blue.
Otherwise, work was fine. The one troublesome child has transferred out of our school, and the other usual troublesome child was absent today so everything was quite pleasant. So other than trying to shake off my sad feeling of loneliness and need for family, everything went just fine. I'm also feeling a lot better other than a slight tickle in my throat. But at least I can now swallow without pain. Now to just shake this feeling.
Lonely....I'm so lonely...I have no Pickle....for my Ooooooooown!
Anyway, I had a hard time letting my husband go too. Each day I spend my time working with all these kids, thinking of our Pickle and how it will be to have a baby together and it makes me want to be all the closer to my husband. Plus, sometimes it hardly seems like I get to see him. By the time I get home, we get so caught up in all the other things we need and want to do, I'm going to bed before we really get to do anything more. And then the next day begins, away from him, off at work...it just makes me feel blue.
Otherwise, work was fine. The one troublesome child has transferred out of our school, and the other usual troublesome child was absent today so everything was quite pleasant. So other than trying to shake off my sad feeling of loneliness and need for family, everything went just fine. I'm also feeling a lot better other than a slight tickle in my throat. But at least I can now swallow without pain. Now to just shake this feeling.
Lonely....I'm so lonely...I have no Pickle....for my Ooooooooown!
Day 38...home sweet home
There isn't much to say about Sunday other then it went by fast. After a quick breakfast with the family in Oregon, we were back on the road. It didn't seem too long before we were home sweet home! And it couldn't have felt better!
It was close to 5pm by the time we got back, so we decided to stretch our legs and walk to the store to grab some dinner. (Who wants to cook after traveling?)
After relaxing for awhile and enjoying the company of just each other, we cozied up in our own bed that night and almost immediately fell asleep.
Well Pickle, home is where your rump rests!
It was close to 5pm by the time we got back, so we decided to stretch our legs and walk to the store to grab some dinner. (Who wants to cook after traveling?)
After relaxing for awhile and enjoying the company of just each other, we cozied up in our own bed that night and almost immediately fell asleep.
Well Pickle, home is where your rump rests!
Day 37...Road Trip
On Friday we left for Oregon. And since I was sick, I basically slept the entire way there. Luckily, after getting some much needed rest, I felt much better on Saturday morning (although, "much better" still was feeling pretty crummy).
I got up early on Saturday and had to attempt to make myself look alive for my husband's Aunt's bridal shower. It was actually quite fun especially since I basically just stayed seated the entire time. Since I was still fighting off what I think was the flu, I still had little energy. But all in all the shower was nice.
Afterward we met up with the guys at Oktoberfest...yes...in September...and had some fun there. We had a drink and some food, but after about an hour, what there was to see was seen and the event kinda got boring after while. There was only so much my husband and I could take of being herded around by the family, clustered together and forced to act abnormally happy for such a mild event. Unless you are there to REALLY drink, the whole thing looses it's flare after a short time.
Anyway, all in all, Saturday was fun. But the most enjoyable part was cuddling on the couch at my husband's grandparent's house while watching the baseball game and petting the unusually talkative cat. I will call her, Miss-Meows-a-lot. ^_^
Put on your lederhosen Pickle and bier mich!
I got up early on Saturday and had to attempt to make myself look alive for my husband's Aunt's bridal shower. It was actually quite fun especially since I basically just stayed seated the entire time. Since I was still fighting off what I think was the flu, I still had little energy. But all in all the shower was nice.
Afterward we met up with the guys at Oktoberfest...yes...in September...and had some fun there. We had a drink and some food, but after about an hour, what there was to see was seen and the event kinda got boring after while. There was only so much my husband and I could take of being herded around by the family, clustered together and forced to act abnormally happy for such a mild event. Unless you are there to REALLY drink, the whole thing looses it's flare after a short time.
Anyway, all in all, Saturday was fun. But the most enjoyable part was cuddling on the couch at my husband's grandparent's house while watching the baseball game and petting the unusually talkative cat. I will call her, Miss-Meows-a-lot. ^_^
Put on your lederhosen Pickle and bier mich!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Day 36...Sick day
Well, unfortunately I am home sick today. I was up half the night with a killer sore throat that hurt even when I drank water. And all morning I have been fighting an upset stomach and absolute fatigue. The hard thing is, tonight we are road tripping down to Oregon for my husband's Aunt's bridal shower. It's not going to be easy going on a road trip while combating this illness, but I want my husband to have a chance to visit his family. We'll see how it all goes. Consequently, since we'll be out of town, I won't be able to blog tomorrow. So, depending on how I am feeling come Sunday, I'll have to catch up on a couple blogs.
On the plus side, my husband got in to work early today and decided to use his free time to look up things that expectant fathers should know. It's wonderful to know how much he wants to be involved, even during the pregnancy. It's not easy for the dads during the pregnancy stage. As the ladies are changing and working hard at growing a baby, the dads are often left to just sit by and try to support his woman's many changing moods. Just knowing that my husband is there right by my side, learning all he can to prepare for his future baby....he is going to be an amazing father! And how lucky am I to have him for a lover and a partner! :)
A Pickle a day keeps the doctor away.
On the plus side, my husband got in to work early today and decided to use his free time to look up things that expectant fathers should know. It's wonderful to know how much he wants to be involved, even during the pregnancy. It's not easy for the dads during the pregnancy stage. As the ladies are changing and working hard at growing a baby, the dads are often left to just sit by and try to support his woman's many changing moods. Just knowing that my husband is there right by my side, learning all he can to prepare for his future baby....he is going to be an amazing father! And how lucky am I to have him for a lover and a partner! :)
A Pickle a day keeps the doctor away.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Day 35....Birth Control
Today was the ultimate birth control!!! It was, by far, the WORST day I have had yet at work! The morning went fine, but come the afternoon, it was utter chaos! You see, we have one particular student (an older student that is often looked to as an example for the younger ones) who is going to be transferring to a different school. Because of this, he is suddenly choosing to burn major bridges to ease his transition. (This isn't too uncommon for younger kids. It's easier to deal with lots of emotions and uncontrollable change by making situations uncomfortable and therefore easier to leave.) Well, as a result, he decided to break all rules and drive me and the lead teacher up a wall!!! And, of course, since all the other kids look up to him as the big kindergartner of the class, they decided to all follow in his steps. Before we could even deal with the one boy, we had at least 5 more students also breaking all the rules and causing utter chaos in the classroom. Works were being thrown across the room, children where yelling and fighting, kids were running around laughing....I wanted to pull my hair out!!! This one boy, knowing that he will be leaving, suddenly robbed us of any authority with his short-timer's attitude! I wanted to do many painful things to him that I'm sure would have me fired in a heart beat, but I tried to remain calm. But oh....the ideas....the dreams....the fist clenching, rage-ahol glory!
But honestly, it really shook me. Today was so maddening, it caused me to second-guess my teaching abilities while so many kids ran amok. It also made me desperately try to remind myself why I got this job in the first place! But the hardest part was that it started to seriously scare me out of the idea of having a baby. I mean, of course I want to have Pickle and we still will. It's just...how am I going to handle that kind of behavior if it ever comes from my own child? What do I do if I have to deal with that ALL the time? I guess I just have to remind myself that, as a parent, I will have more grounds to discipline and teach than even a teacher can. Let's just hope I can manage it without having a stress induced heart attach!
Anyway...that's basically it. I hated today thoroughly. Caring for 17 rowdy, uncontrollable kids is the best kind of birth control out there. And as for kindergartners....our little devils from hellementary school....they bother me the most right now! Well....at least little boys who cause chaos and are rude to me by laughing in my face and ignoring my words. Gerr! HEAR ME VENT!!!
/sigh....How will I ever survive this? T_T
As much as I love dill pickles....I hope our Pickle is a sweet pickle.
But honestly, it really shook me. Today was so maddening, it caused me to second-guess my teaching abilities while so many kids ran amok. It also made me desperately try to remind myself why I got this job in the first place! But the hardest part was that it started to seriously scare me out of the idea of having a baby. I mean, of course I want to have Pickle and we still will. It's just...how am I going to handle that kind of behavior if it ever comes from my own child? What do I do if I have to deal with that ALL the time? I guess I just have to remind myself that, as a parent, I will have more grounds to discipline and teach than even a teacher can. Let's just hope I can manage it without having a stress induced heart attach!
Anyway...that's basically it. I hated today thoroughly. Caring for 17 rowdy, uncontrollable kids is the best kind of birth control out there. And as for kindergartners....our little devils from hellementary school....they bother me the most right now! Well....at least little boys who cause chaos and are rude to me by laughing in my face and ignoring my words. Gerr! HEAR ME VENT!!!
/sigh....How will I ever survive this? T_T
As much as I love dill pickles....I hope our Pickle is a sweet pickle.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Day 34...Zzzzzzz
I can't say I up to blogging much at the moment. I am exhausted! After spending the whole day running after children...I'm pooped! I can't imagine how drained I'll be after I have a child of my own!
Speaking of my future child; one of the kids at work came up to me today and asked if I have a son. "A son?...No. I don't have any children." I told him.
The little boy smiled up at me. "When you get pregnant, you're gonna have a boy!" He declared.
Curious, I asked "Why do you say that? What makes you think I'll have a boy when I get pregnant?" (Mind you, I never once told the boy ever before that I was even considering having a baby.)
He started to giggle, "I just know. You're going to have a boy." He then ran off giggling. It was the oddest thing ever. How weird would it be if he's right?....
Anyway, the lesson of today...kids are exhausting! I am hardly able to keep my eyes open and I don't even have a newborn baby on my hands yet! How on Earth am I going to stay awake long enough to raise my baby?!
Time for bed. Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the Pickle I wish for tonight.
Speaking of my future child; one of the kids at work came up to me today and asked if I have a son. "A son?...No. I don't have any children." I told him.
The little boy smiled up at me. "When you get pregnant, you're gonna have a boy!" He declared.
Curious, I asked "Why do you say that? What makes you think I'll have a boy when I get pregnant?" (Mind you, I never once told the boy ever before that I was even considering having a baby.)
He started to giggle, "I just know. You're going to have a boy." He then ran off giggling. It was the oddest thing ever. How weird would it be if he's right?....
Anyway, the lesson of today...kids are exhausting! I am hardly able to keep my eyes open and I don't even have a newborn baby on my hands yet! How on Earth am I going to stay awake long enough to raise my baby?!
Time for bed. Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the Pickle I wish for tonight.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Day 33...Don't grow up!
How much is too much? Every day I see many parents doing all that they can to protect their child from harm. But when it starts to get to the point of protecting their child from life...it becomes too much. Anyone who either has kids or works with kids knows that the transition of taking your kid to school/daycare for the first time is equally hard on the child as it is on the parent. But there are three types of parents that seem to cause the most trouble: the helicopter parent, the parent in denial, and the Houdini parent.
I often wonder if I will ever become the dreaded helicopter mom, hovering around my child, fussing over them, insisting on doing everything for them, all while I fasten a helmet and pillows all over their body to make sure they don't get hurt. I doubt I'd ever be that bad, however, I'm noticing that a lot of the parents that work at the school where their kids are....their children turn out to be some of the worst monster children ever! With their mom's hiding in every corner, the children get even craftier about finding secret ways to break the rules.
The parent in denial is the parent who so desperately tries to convince themselves that they are the only solution to their child's needs. They linger waaaaaaaaay to long when dropping their kid off the morning, causing the goodbye to be this drawn out awful massacre of false discipline. "Okay, your teacher is here to help you to your class. You need to stop crying and go with your teacher...." The child keeps crying. "Oh...well...okay. Mommy will walk you to your class." So the mom picks the child up and takes him to the class. "Okay. Mommy needs to go. I'll see you later." The child cries harder. "Oh..well..okay. Mommy will wait until you've settled down." And on and on it goes! What does this teach the child? It teaches him that it's okay to make a scene and cry absurdly because mommy will give him what he wants! Moms out there....I know you want to see your child happily bounding off to class, but until they learn to settle themselves down when you're not there, they will never adjust!
Lastly, the Houdini parent. They are the parents that will drop off their crying child and drive off into the sunset before their kid even knows what's going on. There is a delicate balance that needs to happen between the Denial parent and the Houdini parent. Where one clings too much, the other just drops off. Both situations do nothing with helping the child transition to the new situation. When the Houdini parent runs off without a word, their kid will go into sudden panic mode wondering where mommy or daddy went, and why did they leave them in this big scary place?!?
The bottom line is, all three parental types may have good intentions, but sometimes parents can try a little too hard. But let's face it: the fountain of youth doesn't exist, so why try to stop kids from growing and living? As for me, I don't know how I'll be with Pickle. Already I worry to much about him/her and I haven't even conceived him/her yet! So who knows how heart wrenching it'll be when I hear their little cry as I leave them at school for the first time. I guess we'll see if all my research is going to give me awesome skills....or cause me to be super paranoid as I create a baby bomb shelter!
Let's see...pillows, and knee pads, and elbow pads, and a helmet, and goggles, and....Pickle?....where did you go?....
I often wonder if I will ever become the dreaded helicopter mom, hovering around my child, fussing over them, insisting on doing everything for them, all while I fasten a helmet and pillows all over their body to make sure they don't get hurt. I doubt I'd ever be that bad, however, I'm noticing that a lot of the parents that work at the school where their kids are....their children turn out to be some of the worst monster children ever! With their mom's hiding in every corner, the children get even craftier about finding secret ways to break the rules.
The parent in denial is the parent who so desperately tries to convince themselves that they are the only solution to their child's needs. They linger waaaaaaaaay to long when dropping their kid off the morning, causing the goodbye to be this drawn out awful massacre of false discipline. "Okay, your teacher is here to help you to your class. You need to stop crying and go with your teacher...." The child keeps crying. "Oh...well...okay. Mommy will walk you to your class." So the mom picks the child up and takes him to the class. "Okay. Mommy needs to go. I'll see you later." The child cries harder. "Oh..well..okay. Mommy will wait until you've settled down." And on and on it goes! What does this teach the child? It teaches him that it's okay to make a scene and cry absurdly because mommy will give him what he wants! Moms out there....I know you want to see your child happily bounding off to class, but until they learn to settle themselves down when you're not there, they will never adjust!
Lastly, the Houdini parent. They are the parents that will drop off their crying child and drive off into the sunset before their kid even knows what's going on. There is a delicate balance that needs to happen between the Denial parent and the Houdini parent. Where one clings too much, the other just drops off. Both situations do nothing with helping the child transition to the new situation. When the Houdini parent runs off without a word, their kid will go into sudden panic mode wondering where mommy or daddy went, and why did they leave them in this big scary place?!?
The bottom line is, all three parental types may have good intentions, but sometimes parents can try a little too hard. But let's face it: the fountain of youth doesn't exist, so why try to stop kids from growing and living? As for me, I don't know how I'll be with Pickle. Already I worry to much about him/her and I haven't even conceived him/her yet! So who knows how heart wrenching it'll be when I hear their little cry as I leave them at school for the first time. I guess we'll see if all my research is going to give me awesome skills....or cause me to be super paranoid as I create a baby bomb shelter!
Let's see...pillows, and knee pads, and elbow pads, and a helmet, and goggles, and....Pickle?....where did you go?....
Monday, September 14, 2009
Impromptu Daddy Blog!
My wife has found herself on the wrong side of sleep deprivation so she asked if I could do a blog for her.
I guess since we're just a few months out from trying I suppose it is time for me to up the ante. My first steps will be to start to figure out what I can do to help the process and maybe even turn the odds in favor of a little boy ;).
It isn't that I don't want a little girl. I think I'd make for a great "daddy's girl" daddy. But when I think about the things I'm interested in (video games, and sports), I know what guys think about! Geeks and Nerds barely know how to look at one, and I don't even wanna know what they're thinking about my daughter! Jocks are no better! I'll lock her up and she can have no interests what so ever. She will never leave the house.......A boy on the other hand...
I'm really up in the air about which one I want more. It is rare, from what the world has put into me, for a guy to be so ready for this, and to be so OK with either gender. I just hope they have something in common with their mother, myself and any possible future siblings. I've heard the stories of children hating one parent or another. Or even where two brothers can't sit in the same room together without beating the living daylights out of the other. I don't know who I'd be without being able to share one thing or another with my parents or my brother.
I hope I can be the parent I feel like my parents were to me and how my wife's parents were to her.
Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big Pickle parenting?
I guess since we're just a few months out from trying I suppose it is time for me to up the ante. My first steps will be to start to figure out what I can do to help the process and maybe even turn the odds in favor of a little boy ;).
It isn't that I don't want a little girl. I think I'd make for a great "daddy's girl" daddy. But when I think about the things I'm interested in (video games, and sports), I know what guys think about! Geeks and Nerds barely know how to look at one, and I don't even wanna know what they're thinking about my daughter! Jocks are no better! I'll lock her up and she can have no interests what so ever. She will never leave the house.......A boy on the other hand...
I'm really up in the air about which one I want more. It is rare, from what the world has put into me, for a guy to be so ready for this, and to be so OK with either gender. I just hope they have something in common with their mother, myself and any possible future siblings. I've heard the stories of children hating one parent or another. Or even where two brothers can't sit in the same room together without beating the living daylights out of the other. I don't know who I'd be without being able to share one thing or another with my parents or my brother.
I hope I can be the parent I feel like my parents were to me and how my wife's parents were to her.
Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big Pickle parenting?
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Day 31...My mind is pregnant
I have so many thoughts running through my head right now. It's hard to sort them all out. From here on our weekends will be full of obligations and our free time together alone will be limited. This weekend was fantastic but it went by far too quickly...it feels like it was just a warm dream.
Also, my thoughts keep returning to the idea of family and the influence they will have on our baby. How hard will it be to draw boundaries? How can we protect our baby from unhealthy people?
There is also the questions of how we will handle pregnancy and a baby as a couple. Will we be able to stand united? Will we still have time to be close and romantic? This is a huge choice to make, bringing a life into the world...how do we know for sure if we're ready? I feel ready and yet...there are so many unpredictable turns...there is only so much we can plan for.
How will my body handle pregnancy? Will my body be able to bounce back or will I forever have a pregnancy poochy tummy? Just how crazy will my hormones make me?
I have so many thoughts and questions and I hate it that only time will reveal all. It would be easy to know everything...how things will work out, what exactly to expect...but I guess that wouldn't really be living would it?
Each new thought branches off into hundreds of new "what-ifs" and worries....I've gotten myself into one hell of a Pickle here!
Also, my thoughts keep returning to the idea of family and the influence they will have on our baby. How hard will it be to draw boundaries? How can we protect our baby from unhealthy people?
There is also the questions of how we will handle pregnancy and a baby as a couple. Will we be able to stand united? Will we still have time to be close and romantic? This is a huge choice to make, bringing a life into the world...how do we know for sure if we're ready? I feel ready and yet...there are so many unpredictable turns...there is only so much we can plan for.
How will my body handle pregnancy? Will my body be able to bounce back or will I forever have a pregnancy poochy tummy? Just how crazy will my hormones make me?
I have so many thoughts and questions and I hate it that only time will reveal all. It would be easy to know everything...how things will work out, what exactly to expect...but I guess that wouldn't really be living would it?
Each new thought branches off into hundreds of new "what-ifs" and worries....I've gotten myself into one hell of a Pickle here!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Day 30...No touchy!
An interesting topic came up today: what do you do when your family plays hot-potato with your new born baby? I read a forum where a new mom was feeling uncomfortable with her family instantly taking her baby away from her at family gatherings and passing her newborn around. Not only does this put the baby at great risk for germs and illness, but the parents don't get a chance to be with their own baby. I know that, personally, if I have a newborn baby I'm going to want to hold tight to them to make sure they are safe and protected. It won't be easy for me to watch my baby being passed around from person to person, or just not having them close during special family gatherings. I'd want to experience it WITH my baby, not having them in the arms of someone else. The tricky thing is, the timing we have planned for Pickle's birth puts the due date just in time for the holidays. This means family everywhere wanting to hold newborn Pickle! I don't want Pickle to get sick right away from all the many family members passing the poor kid around! And I certainly don't want to spend the holiday separated from my baby. But I'm afraid the family may act like, since I'll be with the baby 24/7 I can afford to give them up for an evening. However, that's not how I'll feel at all! I won't want to seem selfish, and I know the grandparents need time to be with their grand kid, but it will all call for a lot of boundary setting that I can't say I'm too excited for. It'll be tricky to say the least.
So I guess I'll have to look up some good tips on setting those boundaries. It's certainly something to consider. Also...what do you do if there is a particular person that you don't want holding your baby at all? My husband has an Aunt that he would much rather not have be a part of Pickle's life (she's not the healthiest of people, not to mention RUDE AND ANNOYING!). But she's always there at the family gatherings. So we will need to find a way to justify why others may hold the baby but she can't. Hmmm....this is REALLY going to be tricky!
Ensign Pickle....red alert!....Shields up!
So I guess I'll have to look up some good tips on setting those boundaries. It's certainly something to consider. Also...what do you do if there is a particular person that you don't want holding your baby at all? My husband has an Aunt that he would much rather not have be a part of Pickle's life (she's not the healthiest of people, not to mention RUDE AND ANNOYING!). But she's always there at the family gatherings. So we will need to find a way to justify why others may hold the baby but she can't. Hmmm....this is REALLY going to be tricky!
Ensign Pickle....red alert!....Shields up!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Day 29...TGIF
That's right, it's Friday and thank God! I am so excited about this weekend! It'll be the first weekend in a long while where my husband and I have nothing planned! No big events, no entertaining guests, no being guests, NOTHING! =) We just get to relax and enjoy our new apartment!
Today went a little easier at work. After changing my perspective and trying not to take things so personal, it was a lot easier to deal with any child who was being defiant (and yes...there are plenty of them in my class). I know I still have a lot to learn and, who knows, perhaps the mere fact that it's Friday may have lightened my mood. But either way, things went fairly well. I had a short chat with my mom on the phone about some of the difficulties I've been having at work (power struggles, fussy behavior, messes in pants, body fluids....EVERYWHERE!) and her response was "does it make you want to have a baby? Then you could deal with that all the time!" She said it sarcastically and, to be honest, it did cause me to stop and think of having a little crying poop factory around 24/7. But I can't say it isn't anything I haven't considered before. I am, for the most part, aware that things wont always be cute and cuddly when it comes to having a baby. Sometimes, though, the task of caring for a baby can seem a bit daunting. I'd be kidding myself if I thought raising a child would be easy. I just have to remember that there will be lots of happy times too with Pickle. It won't always just be crying, yelling, and messing up their pants. There will be so many good times like the excitement of the holidays, watching my husband holding our sleeping baby, or hearing Pickle laugh for the first time. I suppose things will have a way of balancing themselves out over time as new memories develop and as Pickle grows. Who knows where the road may lead...
It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, a Pickle, it's dark and were wearing sunglasses. Hit it!
Today went a little easier at work. After changing my perspective and trying not to take things so personal, it was a lot easier to deal with any child who was being defiant (and yes...there are plenty of them in my class). I know I still have a lot to learn and, who knows, perhaps the mere fact that it's Friday may have lightened my mood. But either way, things went fairly well. I had a short chat with my mom on the phone about some of the difficulties I've been having at work (power struggles, fussy behavior, messes in pants, body fluids....EVERYWHERE!) and her response was "does it make you want to have a baby? Then you could deal with that all the time!" She said it sarcastically and, to be honest, it did cause me to stop and think of having a little crying poop factory around 24/7. But I can't say it isn't anything I haven't considered before. I am, for the most part, aware that things wont always be cute and cuddly when it comes to having a baby. Sometimes, though, the task of caring for a baby can seem a bit daunting. I'd be kidding myself if I thought raising a child would be easy. I just have to remember that there will be lots of happy times too with Pickle. It won't always just be crying, yelling, and messing up their pants. There will be so many good times like the excitement of the holidays, watching my husband holding our sleeping baby, or hearing Pickle laugh for the first time. I suppose things will have a way of balancing themselves out over time as new memories develop and as Pickle grows. Who knows where the road may lead...
It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, a Pickle, it's dark and were wearing sunglasses. Hit it!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Day 28...Do I gotz what it takes?
I learned today that, it drives me crazy when I am completely ignored when trying to talk to a child!!! It's got to be the oldest trick in the book for keeping the power in your hands, just completely ignoring the person trying to talk to you. And yet, even in light of knowing these children are still learning what is socially acceptable, (like...oh...I don't know....LISTENING AND LOOKING AT THE PERSON WHO IS TALKING TO YOU!!!) it is really hard for me not to take it personally and allow it to drive me mad. I tried so hard to get through to this one boy today who was being particularly defiant, but his only response was to continually shrug me off. When the lead teacher called him out on it and demanded he treat me with the same respect as her (the main teacher) he just shrugged again and said "she's NOT my teacher." I understood that he was angry and that I am a new person in his life so my authority may seem questionable, but his words hurt. I have been trying so hard to fit in and learn at this job. To be dismissed as a nobody...suddenly all my efforts seemed to be for nothing. I'm not making a difference or even getting through to these kids. As far as they're concerned, I'm just another grown-up telling them what to do. I see how warmly all the other children respond to all the other teachers who have been there for awhile and I can only hope things will turn that way for me. But in the mean time, I can't help but see myself as the outcast...someone who just showed up and pretended like she knew everything. I know I haven't really acted that way and that I shouldn't let a few kids shake my confidence so easily, but it's hard when I am working in a realm that I am completely unfamiliar with. What ever happened to having motherly instincts about these sort of things? If I am going to let these kids get to me so much, will I really be able to handle having a kid of my own who will be there 24/7 who will come to know all my personal flaws? How will I handle it when they use that against me? I can't just break down every time they push my buttons.
I have a feeling this job will cause me to question my parenting skills more than I would like. But still I know that things will be a little different when I am dealing with my OWN child and not within the parameters of a daycare. There are some disciplinary acts that I am just not at liberty to give when working with another person's child, which can sometimes make things more challenging and inventive when trying to deal with a particularly troublesome child. I guess all I can do is try my best and hope it is enough.
It isn't easy feeling like I am not succeeding with some of the children at MCH. I took this job with Pickle in mind. When I fail with these kids, I can't help but feel like I am setting up for failure with Pickle. But perhaps that's why I am taking things to heart more so than I should. These children are NOT my Pickle. This experience will help me to prepare and plan for Pickle, but I have to remember that the situations here at MCH will not be the exact same as the experiences with Pickle.
Talk to the hand...the Pickle ain't listening!
I have a feeling this job will cause me to question my parenting skills more than I would like. But still I know that things will be a little different when I am dealing with my OWN child and not within the parameters of a daycare. There are some disciplinary acts that I am just not at liberty to give when working with another person's child, which can sometimes make things more challenging and inventive when trying to deal with a particularly troublesome child. I guess all I can do is try my best and hope it is enough.
It isn't easy feeling like I am not succeeding with some of the children at MCH. I took this job with Pickle in mind. When I fail with these kids, I can't help but feel like I am setting up for failure with Pickle. But perhaps that's why I am taking things to heart more so than I should. These children are NOT my Pickle. This experience will help me to prepare and plan for Pickle, but I have to remember that the situations here at MCH will not be the exact same as the experiences with Pickle.
Talk to the hand...the Pickle ain't listening!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Day 27...Mommy, it hurts when I swallow
Well, unfortunately I am sure now that my body is fighting off a sickness. All day I have felt drained and my throat is starting to feel tight. I think I might even have a slight fever at the moment. =(
Other than that though, it was absolutely amazing coming home after work and having only a ten minute commute! We were home by 5:30! It was wonderful! For once we could just be together and enjoy the apartment without having to jump right into making dinner and doing chores. I'm thinking this extra time will help when we start trying to make Pickle. Nothing like extra time and energy to help with baby making....or just having fun. ;)
It's still mind-blowing to think that just a few weeks back we were worried we weren't going to be able to move to a new apartment. And now look at us! As draining as the move was, I think it was the best choice! We are so much happier here. We have more space, more sleep, and more time together. Not to mention, we are sitting here in Pickle's room! I love it that we have a room for Pickle! When I imagine having our baby in here...just knowing that it will be THIS apartment we bring Pickle home to....I can't wait! =D I still wonder...will we have a boy or a girl?....I guess I'll have to be patient.
My Mama always said, 'Life was like a jar of Pickles; you never know what you're gonna get.'
Other than that though, it was absolutely amazing coming home after work and having only a ten minute commute! We were home by 5:30! It was wonderful! For once we could just be together and enjoy the apartment without having to jump right into making dinner and doing chores. I'm thinking this extra time will help when we start trying to make Pickle. Nothing like extra time and energy to help with baby making....or just having fun. ;)
It's still mind-blowing to think that just a few weeks back we were worried we weren't going to be able to move to a new apartment. And now look at us! As draining as the move was, I think it was the best choice! We are so much happier here. We have more space, more sleep, and more time together. Not to mention, we are sitting here in Pickle's room! I love it that we have a room for Pickle! When I imagine having our baby in here...just knowing that it will be THIS apartment we bring Pickle home to....I can't wait! =D I still wonder...will we have a boy or a girl?....I guess I'll have to be patient.
My Mama always said, 'Life was like a jar of Pickles; you never know what you're gonna get.'
Day 26...Tuesday
Tuesday was rough. With our three day weekend already gone, it wasn't easy having to leave the apartment after just getting it all in place. It was, however, absolutely bliss being able to sleep in until 7:30am rather than getting up at 6:20am! That one extra hour of sleep made a world of difference.
As much as I am enjoying work, we already had kids coming in sick and I had to clean up several bathroom related accidents that I would rather not go in to detail about. Let's just say, sickness equals messy pants. Bleh! Also, there have been several kids challenging my authority since I am a new teacher, which isn't too surprising. I figured that much would happen. The main thing that is bringing me down (other than spending the day surrounded by someone else's feces) is the fact that I am already feeling sick! I'm hoping I don't come down with something already. But with some many kids already sick as it is, this ever growing feeling that I am coming down with something isn't very encouraging.
On a cute note, while I was on the playground, a kid asked me what bruises were. I tried to explain that they are sore spots on our skin that happen when something hits our skin too hard. "They show up as a dark spots on your skin" I explained.
"Oh." The boy responded. "I get it. You have them all over your arm." He said.
Confused, I looked at where he was pointing. He was pointing at the freckles on my arms. It was an understandable and cute mistake. I guess I gadda work on explaining things to little kids. How do you explain what a bruise is?...Makes you think.
Pickle's say the darnedest things.
As much as I am enjoying work, we already had kids coming in sick and I had to clean up several bathroom related accidents that I would rather not go in to detail about. Let's just say, sickness equals messy pants. Bleh! Also, there have been several kids challenging my authority since I am a new teacher, which isn't too surprising. I figured that much would happen. The main thing that is bringing me down (other than spending the day surrounded by someone else's feces) is the fact that I am already feeling sick! I'm hoping I don't come down with something already. But with some many kids already sick as it is, this ever growing feeling that I am coming down with something isn't very encouraging.
On a cute note, while I was on the playground, a kid asked me what bruises were. I tried to explain that they are sore spots on our skin that happen when something hits our skin too hard. "They show up as a dark spots on your skin" I explained.
"Oh." The boy responded. "I get it. You have them all over your arm." He said.
Confused, I looked at where he was pointing. He was pointing at the freckles on my arms. It was an understandable and cute mistake. I guess I gadda work on explaining things to little kids. How do you explain what a bruise is?...Makes you think.
Pickle's say the darnedest things.
Day 25...Monday
Monday was a long day. We spent the whole morning unpacking our things and getting the apartment in place. But come 2pm we had the whole place unpacked! It was beautiful! Our new home was all set up, no more boxes, and there was so much space! It was hard to see how much bigger our place was with all the boxes in it. But once it was all unpacked, we suddenly had lots of extra room!
So on Monday night we got some delicious yakisoba and some drinks and relaxed in our new home. In fact, we spent our first evening in Pickle's room watching movies and cuddling. It was perfect.
In Pickle's room....I like the sound of that. =)
So on Monday night we got some delicious yakisoba and some drinks and relaxed in our new home. In fact, we spent our first evening in Pickle's room watching movies and cuddling. It was perfect.
In Pickle's room....I like the sound of that. =)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Day 24...Sunday
With coffee in our hands and bags under our eyes, we began the great move to our new apartment. Although the move was fairly quick, in the moment, it felt like forever. Of course, it also had to be one of the rainiest weekends we've had in awhile, so we got absolutely soaked when loading everything up into the moving truck.
Two o'clock came....we stood surrounded by boxes, overwhelmed, exhausted, just the two of us in our new home.
By midnight, we had all the furniture in place, and at least 3/4ths of the apartments unpacked. We are awesome! Many thanks to our parents who helped us move. And many thanks to the free energy drinks we got at PAX the day before.
Pickle Power!
Two o'clock came....we stood surrounded by boxes, overwhelmed, exhausted, just the two of us in our new home.
By midnight, we had all the furniture in place, and at least 3/4ths of the apartments unpacked. We are awesome! Many thanks to our parents who helped us move. And many thanks to the free energy drinks we got at PAX the day before.
Pickle Power!
Day 23...Saturday
Since we moved this weekend, I didn't really get a chance to blog at all. So today I am going to basically post the blogs for Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and then I'll blog for today (Tuesday).
On Saturday, we got up early and started to pack the car. Since we already had the keys to our new place, we figured we would drop off a car load of stuff so as to ease the transition on Sunday. Unfortunately, packing up the car took too long and we had places to go and people to see, so we decided we would drop off our stuff later that night.--This is a key part to remember for the story later.
The main event for Saturday was PAX, the big nerd convention in Seattle that my husband was working at. His job had set up a station to advertise their new game and it was my husbands job to direct the crowds. As he worked the station, I went around and trick-or-treated at all the other booths for freebies. All around PAX were free shirts, buttons, pens, energy drinks, and more! It was so much fun! Not to mention all the endless amounts of games that were available for testing out. It was great!
After my husband was done with his shift, we were able to walk around and enjoy the expo together. But when it was getting close to 1am, we figured we should get going since we had to move to our new apartment the following day.
Absolutely fried, we dragged ourselves to the car to head home when we realized, we still had all the boxes piled high in our car! With lots of emotion and exhausted frustration, we went to the new apartment and began to unload the car. We didn't get back home and to bed until nearly 2:30am!!!!
....We had to get up at 7am to pick up the Uhaul and meet with the family to begin the move....
Madness?......THIS...IS....PICKLE!!!!!
On Saturday, we got up early and started to pack the car. Since we already had the keys to our new place, we figured we would drop off a car load of stuff so as to ease the transition on Sunday. Unfortunately, packing up the car took too long and we had places to go and people to see, so we decided we would drop off our stuff later that night.--This is a key part to remember for the story later.
The main event for Saturday was PAX, the big nerd convention in Seattle that my husband was working at. His job had set up a station to advertise their new game and it was my husbands job to direct the crowds. As he worked the station, I went around and trick-or-treated at all the other booths for freebies. All around PAX were free shirts, buttons, pens, energy drinks, and more! It was so much fun! Not to mention all the endless amounts of games that were available for testing out. It was great!
After my husband was done with his shift, we were able to walk around and enjoy the expo together. But when it was getting close to 1am, we figured we should get going since we had to move to our new apartment the following day.
Absolutely fried, we dragged ourselves to the car to head home when we realized, we still had all the boxes piled high in our car! With lots of emotion and exhausted frustration, we went to the new apartment and began to unload the car. We didn't get back home and to bed until nearly 2:30am!!!!
....We had to get up at 7am to pick up the Uhaul and meet with the family to begin the move....
Madness?......THIS...IS....PICKLE!!!!!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Day 22...U-haul, I-haul, We-all-haul!
After work today we started the great move to our new home. With much thanks to our parents, we were able to move all of our boxes and then some to our new apartment in just a couple hours. It was amazing! All we basically have left to move on Sunday is the big furniture and that's it! I am so excited to unpack and really settle into our new place. It would be even more glorious if we can manage to do it while still having some time on Monday to relax and enjoy the Labor Day weekend together before going right back to work.
So here we go! The great move begins! We are just a couple days away from being fully moved in to our new home!!!
A Pickle, a Pickle, my kingdom for a Pickle!
So here we go! The great move begins! We are just a couple days away from being fully moved in to our new home!!!
A Pickle, a Pickle, my kingdom for a Pickle!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Day 21...Bendy Trees
The Lesson of the Bendy Tree
"Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked,
while the tree that bends with the wind survives.
As our roots grow strong,
together we shall support each other through even the strongest of storms."
My husband had mentioned yesterday the lesson of the bendy trees. It's a proverb that has kept us going many times. When facing times of change and challenge, we have often reminded each other that we are the bendy trees; the more we learn to be flexible while supporting each other, the more successful and happy we will be.
So now, as we are in the midst of moving to a new apartment as I start my new job, my husband has reminded me how important it is for us to be bendy trees. If we continue to support each other and stay strong together, we can get through anything.
That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for Pickle.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Day 20...Special Big Daddy Pickle Blog!
That's right! Daddy Pickle is here! I really don't know what to say!
I guess I'll start off with what inspired me to do this. My wife and I had been discussing things and how to involve the other in those activities so that it wasn't time that didn't feel special or like we were tired of the other. And that got me to thinking, "How can I involve myself in not only something very dear to my wife, but the end product that is very important to me?" By being a part of this chronicling of our journey to pregnancy and birth; that's how. I may not have advice or even a whole lot of knowledge at this point about my role in this thing, but I can tell you a couple of things:
1) I couldn't be more excited.
2) I will give out an honest perspective of where I am as a future father
and
3) How I'm coming to grow into a father who is there for his family.
Being a part of this only further intertwines my wife and I as Bendy Trees. It also starts to include our little Pickle Plant :). Our story of Bendy Trees has been something my wife and I have told each other through trials and tribulations throughout our relationship. I won't tell it now, but maybe she will. :)
For the Pickle Plant in our near future!
I guess I'll start off with what inspired me to do this. My wife and I had been discussing things and how to involve the other in those activities so that it wasn't time that didn't feel special or like we were tired of the other. And that got me to thinking, "How can I involve myself in not only something very dear to my wife, but the end product that is very important to me?" By being a part of this chronicling of our journey to pregnancy and birth; that's how. I may not have advice or even a whole lot of knowledge at this point about my role in this thing, but I can tell you a couple of things:
1) I couldn't be more excited.
2) I will give out an honest perspective of where I am as a future father
and
3) How I'm coming to grow into a father who is there for his family.
Being a part of this only further intertwines my wife and I as Bendy Trees. It also starts to include our little Pickle Plant :). Our story of Bendy Trees has been something my wife and I have told each other through trials and tribulations throughout our relationship. I won't tell it now, but maybe she will. :)
For the Pickle Plant in our near future!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Day 19...Ding Dong the Car is Gone!
At long last I have sold my old college POS car! I am so glad to finally be rid of it! I'm a little sad to say goodbye seeing as how it was my first car...but I'm not that sad!
Other than that, my first day working with the children at MCH couldn't have gone better! I am really excited how well the children already responded to me, plus now I have a better understanding of how my day to day activities will be there. My lead teacher was extremely helpful and understanding to my learning, so I think the transition into this job will be one of the easiest I have ever had. =)
So there you have it! My crappy ol' car has been cut loose, and my first interaction with the MCH children was a total success! Each step is a step closer to Pickle!
Other than that, my first day working with the children at MCH couldn't have gone better! I am really excited how well the children already responded to me, plus now I have a better understanding of how my day to day activities will be there. My lead teacher was extremely helpful and understanding to my learning, so I think the transition into this job will be one of the easiest I have ever had. =)
So there you have it! My crappy ol' car has been cut loose, and my first interaction with the MCH children was a total success! Each step is a step closer to Pickle!
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