Post 198...Updates on the walking incubator

I never knew how difficult every day activities would become once I got pregnant. In the morning I'm running to the kitchen for breakfast so as to stave off the nausiating hunger pains that built up over the night. During the day I'm beginning to drag my feet at work, choking back emotional ups and downs that hit me in times of stress. By 9pm I'm falling asleep on the couch, only to wake up and start it all again. All things considered, it's been an extremely easy pregnancy. My morning sickness has gone and for the most part, my mood swings are minimal (or at least, so I hope. My husband swears that I've been fine minus my times of random crying that seems to hit me more than anything else.), and even on the weight side of things I haven't been gaining too much or too fast. Which is surprizing considering this baby has me craving cheeseburgers and butterfinger blizzards that I have unfortunately givin into a couple of times. >_< And yet, in spite of the junk I have been giving into from time to time, I haven't gained much weight and I'm just barely starting to show now at a little over 16 weeks. Today, however, I'm determined to get some healthier snacks in the house and try desperately not to give in to the trash this baby wants to eat. Pickle's not even born yet and already they're so much like their father! lol

There have been great things happening, however, in all my daze of work and sleep. On April 2nd, for the first time, we got to hear the baby's heart beat. It was exhilarating! I was so glad we caught it on tape because it seemed like the moment came and went in an instant. So when we got home, we watched it over and over again. The heartbeat was at a strong 150+. We even got to hear the little blip of them kicking at the microphone! It certainly made everything feel more real.

Lately I've been feeling some flutters of movement (or what I think is the baby moving anyway). It's a subtle feeling like a mix between a muscle spasm and gas. Actually, for the longest time I just dismissed it as indigestion, but once it became a little stronger and more frequent (even when I wasn't having any digestion issues going on) I figured it must be the baby starting to make their presence known. It's low in my stomach near the bikini line. When I'm sitting down and resting, I can feel the slight wiggle of our little future ball of energy.

A few days ago, a co-worker of mine gave me a generous gift. She has three kids who have all out-grown their baby things, so as a gift from one experienced mom to a new one, she offered me a bunch of the baby things they wouldn't be needing anymore. This included: two car seats (one infant, one toddler), a high chair, a bouncy chair, a toilet trainer, a toddler bike, a nursing pillow, blankets, and a baby Einstein learning mat. I was blown away! Although, to be honest; once we got the baby stuff into our apartment, I stood there in a "OH MY GOD AM I READY FOR THIS?!?!" moment. But now that it's been here for a couple days, I'm more comfortable with it...for now. Anyway, there are two other co-workers at MCH that are also pregnant, but she wanted to give these things to me since I'm the only one there having my first child. I was so overwhelmed by her generosity I nearly cried. Today I'm baking her cookies as a way of saying thanks. I really feel so blessed being in such a wonderful community of experienced parents! With every step of this pregnancy I have not once felt alone.

Tomorrow will be our next checkup. Going to these doctor visits feels like we get to visit the baby. Even though they are with us all the time, their presence is so tiny we hardly get to hear from them much. But at the doctor's we get to see or hear them loud and clear. But soon enough we won't need the doctor to help us see and feel our baby. For now, my husband and I still talk to the baby and keep our hands waiting on my tummy for some tiny bump of movement.

Yesterday I considered canceling my blog, figuring that the gaps in time with each post and the overall lack of motivation and energy I've been feeling every day would be enough of an excuse to drop things. But with as fast as Pickle will be here and growing up, I figure I should at least try and capture some of these fleeting memories before they're already having children of their own.

My name is Jennifer and I am prosperous,
always, and in all ways.